Effeminate gay men

feminine gay meaning

I know many effeminate gay men who are effimante not because of heteronormativity but to rise above gender essentialization. The stereotype of effimante gay is quite prominent in global South as well. “I’m an extremely effeminate (not to the point of transgenderism) homosexual man,” the letter begins, “and I was wondering: What are your thoughts on males who behave like females (wearing.

Throughout Western civilization, men considered effeminate have faced prejudice and discrimination. Gay men are often stereotyped as being effeminate, and vice versa. However, femininity, masculinity, and other forms of gender expression are independent of sexual orientation. Queer men who harbor negative attitudes about effeminacy suffer from internalized homophobia more than those who don’t, according to a report in the journal Trends in Psychology.

An effeminate gay man is typically characterized by behaviors, mannerisms, or traits that are socially associated with femininity, such as softness, gentleness, or flamboyance, while also identifying as gay. Out of the gay men surveyed, a staggering 71 per cent said that they had been actively turned off by a prospective partner because they had shown signs of femininity. For years I was so ashamed of my own feminine qualities, that when on dates I would say very little or speak quietly because I was worried my voice would give me away.

Even now, I find myself trying and failing to butch myself up when surrounded by extended family members, or straight men I am unfamiliar with. But the effect of constantly being fed the message that femme equals bad is hard to ignore. Unsettling, considering I am gay.

I am not completely shielded from it even when off hookup apps like Grindr. A quick flick through my explore page on Instagram shows groups of carbon-copy muscular, hairy, tattooed groups of often scantily clad men out in da club or partying on Fire Island. All of whom have been open before about their struggle with dating. Thanks to unashamedly feminine gay men like my hero RuPaul , I have come to realise that being effeminate is not something to hide.

Rather than just being a sassy sidekick who will wave their finger in your face while flicking their imaginary wig, I can still be strong, weak, funny and intelligent — just like every other complex human being. You are gay.